A Father’s Heart – Part 1
It all starts with your relationship with your wife and keeping your priorities in the right order – God, wife, kids, then others.
Being a good dad starts with being a good husband.
Ephesians 5:25 commands, “Husbands, love your wives.”
As important as it to tell your wife that you love her, it is more important to show her by your actions. All the love you pour into your spouse generally comes back to bless you doubly; it is one of those no-brainers. When you fill her up with your love, it overflows – guess who the lucky recipient of the overflow is?
Darlene and I have team taught a Young Married Sunday School class, and Darlene has done Bible studies on marriage for women’s groups, as well as taught on marriage and sexual intimacy as a MOPS mentor. She says that it is not hard to be submissive to a man who loves you like Christ loves the church. Submission is not a word most of us like to hear nowadays, but it is important in marriage. Now don’t get me wrong, my wife is a strong-willed, self-confident woman; she does not believe submission is being stepped on, nor do I. But she sees me as the priest in our home, the leader, and she is willing to treat me that way (most of the time). Does your wife feel that you would give your life for her? Does she see you as a godly leader in your home?
Jesus Christ is the supreme example of showing love. He shows us how men should love their wives, in the same way that Jesus loved the church and gave Himself for her. Mel Gibson’s movie, The Passion of Christ, shows Christ’s love in picture form. That is exactly how He loves me and how He loves you. I should love my wife in the same way as Christ loves his children: sacrificial, purifying, nurturing and enduring love.
We need to tell our wives how much we love them with both our words and our actions. Do you treat your wife like a lady? How about simple things like opening a car door or pulling out her chair in a restaurant? When Darlene and I dated and were first married, I was good in doing these things. I would hurry to open the car door, pull out her chair, and do the small things for her that showed her how much I loved her. It’s called being a gentleman.
Husbands, pray for your wife every day, love her like she deserves to be loved. Do the little things for her that make her feel she’s special to you, like opening a car door or pulling out a chair, I can guarantee she will like it; she may wonder what you have done or what you want, but she will get used to it quickly. Your wife, the woman God gave you, should truly be your Homecoming Queen, the love of your life.
Marriage is work, and if you are not contributing to the relationship 24/7, then you are contaminating it 24/7. We used to say that a man and woman each have to give 50% to their marriage; now I say that they each must give 100%. It is up to you to take action if you feel the spark or flame is going out of your marriage. A marriage cannot resurrect itself. Remember what attracted you to her in the first place; those qualities are still there.
Make a conscious decision to focus on and appreciate the positive aspects of your mate. When you wake up every day, ask yourself, “What can I do today to make my marriage better?” Maybe that means taking her on a date or a second honeymoon weekend; packing a picnic basket and whisking her off to a private spot in the park. There are many things you can do, things that will form the glue in the bond that holds you together. “Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise: ‘Many women have done wonderful things, but you have outclassed them all!” (Proverbs 31:28-29 Message). It’s not the cost that matters, it is the thought. She mostly just wants your time and attention. Even little ten-year-old Ricky knew something that some seasoned husbands don’t know. When asked, “What do you think is the key to making a marriage work,” he responded, “Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck.”
Guys this 1957 song by The Flamingos, “I Only Have Eyes for You,” is one of the great songs of the ‘50’s and one of my favorites. Keeping our eyes where they belong is a real asset in marriage.
My love’s a kind of blind love, I can’t see anyone but you, Are the stars out tonight? I don’t know if it’s cloudy or bright for I only have eyes for you, dear. The moon may be high but I can’t see a thing in the sky I only have eyes for you. I don’t know if we’re in a garden or on a crowded avenue. You are here, and so am I, Maybe millions of people go by, but they all disappear from view, dear, And I only have eyes for you.
Now, that should be our theme song and it’s a good song to dance to – so what are you waiting for.
Sam Mehaffie – firstname.lastname@example.org